Virgin Boss Dies Laughing

According to British Airways their new home at Terminal 5 is set to transform your travel experience.

According to the Daily Mash it also has caused the death of Richard Branson.

Meanwhile Heathrow has hailed the catastrophic opening of its new terminal five as an 80% improvement on a normal day at terminals one, two, three and four.

British Airways passengers had to wait only five hours to collect their luggage, compared to the usual 12, and only 300,000 pieces of luggage went missing over the day.Airport boss Bill McKay said an

'outstanding' first 24 hours had been marred only by a small riot and a handful of isolated knife fights.

He added: "It did turn a bit nasty when someone pointed out that the terminal was just a big shed that wasn't actually connected to any departure gates. Thank God for Alsatians, eh?"

The Daily Mash - RICHARD BRANSON DIES LAUGHING